but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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