thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
