I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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