he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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