You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
