If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
