Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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