I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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