the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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