I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.