I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
