So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
