You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
if only i could text you this smell
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
