I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
