After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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