Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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