i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize