This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize