So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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