When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Is it because I queefed?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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