he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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