I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
