The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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