Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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