She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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