I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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