butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
