no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize