I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize