So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
