I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
