she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Please don't give away my fajitas
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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