so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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