you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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