Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize