If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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