All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
