I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
