I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
