I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
