before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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