don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I am one with the molecules
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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