is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
