its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
if only i could text you this smell
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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