just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
