Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
