his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I wear drunk well.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
