No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
