just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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