I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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