ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
