There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
