my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
