If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
