wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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