so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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