He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
