I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
