So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
