I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
