Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
