you guys were way drunker than both of me
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
