These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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