To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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